When the kids don’t want to go…

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When the kids don’t want to go…

It’s Friday night: time to exchange the kiddos with your ex. But they don’t want to go. And, to be honest, you don’t want them to.

Divorce is an extremely hard time for everyone involved. It is emotional and full of hurt feelings and resentment. It is very hard to keep a sensible thought process. To go from “I love you” to “I want a divorce” is hurtful and very damaging to a person’s pride and ego. However, the most important thing to remember when going through a divorce is the children. While you may feel like you hate your ex-partner now, it is important to remember that at one point you loved each other and respected each other enough to make little people who you will continue to care for together for the rest of your and their lives. While the marriage between the parents may be ending, the relationship does not. And while the parents may be getting a divorce and do not get along, the children are NOT involved in that dispute and should never feel like they are.

It is important to realize that parenting time with BOTH parents is always beneficial to the children. Unless there is abuse or neglect involved, both parents being involved in a child’s life is proven to be beneficial to the child on numerous levels. The child has better self-esteem. If a child feels that one parent does not want him/her to see the other parent it creates a stressful situation for the child where the child feels they need to appease and protect the parent’s feelings. This is unfair to the child. When there are issues with children not wanting to see the other parent, it is usually because the parents are creating the issues. Bad mouthing the other parent, questioning the other parent through the child, and making a child choose between two people they love is not productive parenting. Although your ex may drive you crazy, do not take these feelings out on the children, who have no part in the dispute between you and your ex in the first place. So, create a positive attitude and environment around your parenting plan and the kids will benefit from it in the end.

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